Hello from foggy Fishers Island! I have the day off, and am happily perched on the couch with a cup of coffee, looking out at the grey water, blending into the grey sky. Soon I’ll make a sunny breakfast: sunny-side-up eggs, sausages hot off the skillet, and last night’s polenta, cut into triangles and fried.
My new friend and coworker Hannah said the sweetest thing to me the other day after subscribing to The Dish and reading her first post: she told me it reminded her that she, too, has thoughts to share. I knew what she meant. While in the thick of daily life, working hard and washing sheets and going to the dump and emptying the dishwasher, it can be hard to remember that our very existences are interesting. But when I sit at the keyboard and dig a little deeper, I always find something to say. One of my fundamental beliefs is that everyone’s internal lives are as complex and technicolor as my own; as such, we all have things to say and deserve to be heard. On Instagram, Hannah posted a lovely series of photos with some words about how much she’s enjoying living by the water, and how it makes her feel. Love.
Today, I thought I had nothing to say, but then I thought about the latest This American Life episode on lists and realized I had lots to say on the subject. So here goes!
Types of Lists I Love to Write
Lists of Favorites
I remember being obsessed as a kid with what my favorite things were: favorite movie, place, food, drink, anything. I would think hard about what my favorite things were, write them down, and own them as facts about myself. Now, when I think back on that practice, I suspect it was an identity-forming thing. When you’re just beginning to figure yourself out — your likes and dislikes, your needs and desires — it can be confusing. There’s something comforting about the declaration of “I like X.” To quote an interviewee in the aforementioned This American Life episode, a list can say, “I exist and this is a thing about me.” It is on paper now, and therefore it is true. Here, read this, get to know me.
Of course, claiming your favorites can get complicated as you grow up. You consume more media, try more foods and drinks, see more places, make more connections, and so on. But I still love the concept of claiming favorites, so today, on this Tuesday morning in May, here are some favorites:
Movie: Notting Hill, Ocean’s 11, Little Miss Sunshine, The Way We Were
Place: Vermont in the summer when it’s green and lush. Or Rome in early spring — artichoke season.
Food: Warm bread with salted butter, spaghetti with clams, Szechuan spicy cumin lamb noodles, good anchovies, Italian torta caprese with crème fraîche, Vietnamese bún thịt nướng
Drink: Drip coffee with half and half, Arnold Palmer, minerally white wine, this very specific IPA, ice cold water
Prep Lists / Grocery Lists
Through working in kitchens, I’ve learned the art of prep lists. In a professional kitchen, every shift requires a prep list. What needs to happen in order for us to execute the menu we’re offering? Everything gets distilled into a clear list of tasks and divided among the staff. It’s the only way to make menu magic happen. In Rome, we’d sit down with our chef in the early morning at the beginning of our shifts and scribble prep lists while sipping espressos. Over my six months there, I filled three whole notebooks with prep lists, and they’re precious to me — each list like a poem.
Grocery lists are another favorite category. What you buy on a regular basis is so personal and can say so much. A recent one from my Notes app:
whole milk
Tuscan kale
lemons
waxy potatoes
frozen peas
potato chips - black pepper ones if they have
more pasta almost out
canned tomatoes (crushed)
butter!!!
Mind Maps
When I feel overwhelmed, I write a mind map — a compilation of lists that helps me settle my mind. On a piece of paper, I draw and label bubbles, each of which represents a theme that’s constant in my brain. Family, for example, or my relationship with my body. I then break down each category, drawing lines from each bubble and writing more specific details that are occupying space in my brain. These could be worries I’m holding onto, or things I’m looking forward to. I try to get all the stuff — gunk or otherwise — out of my brain and onto the page. It gives me distance from my thoughts in a way that I find helpful. I’d share an example picture, but nobody gets to see my mind maps but me. : )
To-Do Lists
I live by to-do lists. There is rarely a day, whether I’m working or not, when I do not have a to-do list written out. I write anything and everything down, from taking a shower to calling my parents to actual work tasks. To me, the satisfaction of crossing something out is unparalleled. If I forgot to write something down and already did it, I’ll write it out anyway just to cross it out.
Are you a list-lover like me? What is it about us that makes us crave a list for all the things? Curious to hear your thoughts.
Lots of love. Thank you for being here,
Phoebe
I love lists too. I tend to start a list with the last thing I did simply for the satisfaction of crossing it off.